Why didn't you listen?

[Vei]

We mingled, we laughed, we cried.

 We smiled, we frowned, we sighed.
 We were so close, it was as if nothing could separate us.
 You were always there, when that one girl gave me a snide look or that one guy called me a name I didn't deserve.
"Hey, you got a problem," you'd yell at them, always having my back and teaching them not to mess with me, the shy kid, the nerdy girl, the teacher's pet gal... a total misfit.
 I had your back too though, warning off those traitors that would've back stabbed you, telling them to go break someone from their trusting personality. There were hardly any of these girls... you got along with everyone! It amazed me... made me jealous... made me feel inspired.
I hated those girls and guys, I always could tell who they were... you couldn't though... how couldn't you see?! How couldn't you see those cruel eyes, rude faces, harsh words and rumors? They never liked us my dear friend.. they never admired or loved you for you... the way I always have.
When our bond was at its highest, life grabbed my collar and threw me back into hell... and you watched. You watched me suffer; depression, words that felt like verbal abuse, hatred from those who didn't know me, judgement that wasn't fair.
I cried out to you.... you just stared.. blank as a sheet of paper, as if I wasn't there. I was pulled away from you, kicking and screaming, hoping, waiting, praying for you to lift me to my feet and save me like you always used to, be the guardian angel I thought you were.
I hated those people, they tore me apart, broke me, made me hidden and almost... in-human. I'm still broken... and you stare at me as if I never changed. Your warm brown eyes still holding their promise of friendship, everlasting sisterly love, even if our relationship is only by our choice to like one another.
Then you disappeared.
You became a girl I never thought you'd be.
You joined them...
Those girls I warned you about!
Am I not a good enough friend... Did I do something to turn you against me?
I was lost in my own issues... tackling depression day by day, being the new girl at school that everyone wanted to judge and find something wrong with. I was attacked with questions and was forced to give answers, adults so demanding and cruel. "My parents are divorced," I'd answer, pretending it was you... when we first met... 6 years ago. "I had to choose between them this summer..." I'd continued.
"You poor child."
"That's too much for someone your age to have to do."
They'd whine about my losses, baying like wolves at the moon or yowling like cats do when they're in pain or grieving. I ignored them, still dealing with my issues.
Then you did it... you did what you promised you'd never do! How could you betray me like that?! I trusted you with my life... now I can't look at you the same.
Drugs.
"It was just to try it!"
"I won't do it again!"
"Listen to me Bliss! I'm not lying! I promise."
You called to me, trying to make me listen. I was shut down, broken again, and by you of all people... how could you? Then I lost my first relationship... my first romantic relationship... He hates me... and when I vent to you.. you just stare. You're happy with your new friends... I'm just something of the past.
I became hidden... became what I am now.
"Stop Caitlin..."
"This isn't right.."
"Where's the real you?"
Now you're broken like me.. no one likes you... no one gets you... and now I find myself wondering. "Wasn't I like this... aren't I still like this? Contemplating suicide.. hating myself for being me... avoiding people... anyone. Now you're like me... and we're both stuck. We hate life... nothing we can do.
"Bliss."
"Caitlin."
"Blissy."
"Caity."
"Liz."
"Cait."
Then we became so broken, we barely spoke. We shortened each other's names to almost nothing...
I hide in role play, in Skype, in the internet, in schoolwork... scared to come out of my antisocial shell to be hurt again.
You hide in your room, in books, in notes... scared to be seen so unlike yourself.

"Why didn't you listen?"
"Why didn't we listen?"

Now... life becomes hard... and our time to prove we can pull through starts now..
Take my hand dear... lets do this the way we started.
Together.