Post by Ferry on Feb 24, 2013 20:59:58 GMT
(1037 words, 5605 characters)
He was always looking for something, something to please that everlasting hatred inside his chest.
But nothing was to be found.
He was searching for something, if anything at all would come forward and take this place, this hatred in his chest, the hatred in his miscolored eyes, anything to finally please him.
But nothing was to be found.
How could a cat contain so much hatred, and live every day like this, like he lived, how he lived, hating everything, with a scary, burning pit in his chest, something so frightening, nothing could fathom it? He had no solace, he did not have a deep pit of sadness that needed to be cured. He needed something else... Something that might change his view on these horrible creatures... These creatures he was forced to live amongst, the ones he never liked, not since they 'stole' him.
But nothing was to be found.
The tom couldn't speak to them, he couldn't look at them with his salmon and black gaze, for if he looked at them, the hate would grow stronger. Some cats even sought a conception that his pelt had originally been a silky, snow white, they needed reassurance, they sought the conception that it had been more white than the snow that lay over the barren landscape of Winter, and had grown darker as his hatred grew. Although, this wasn't true, they just needed an escape, something to fill their pitiful minds with a reassurance to their own stupidity. Sadly, this conception wasn't true, and it never would be. Perhaps they'd find something that would fill their mind from their own stupidity, from their own hatred, something they'd be able to fathom, fathom the malice.
But nothing was currently found.
Maybe, if he hadn't been raised the way he had been, he'd be nicer, he wouldn't be the way he is now, he would be able to tolerate the cats, the felidae he lived amongst. But the misanthropy prevented him from doing this, he sought his own reassurance, that it was simply a dream, and that felidae couldn't be this stupid. He knew it was a lie, he was too smart to trick himself into something like that, so, none was to be found.
No reassurance from the world.
Maybe, one day, it won't be so bad. He reminded himself of that every day, thinking things would get better, thinking something might change, might be able to change his mind about the world. Nothing had came forth like that, not even SilentClan, who seemed, almost, as harsh as him. Not another feline had came forward to change his mind, none at all. He was beginning to no longer seek out reassurance, how could he? He couldn't even stand the creatures, so how could the tom seek out reassurance amongst anything, or anyone? He hated his leader, he hated the Medicine Cats, StarClan was some distant fairy tale that the cats had made up to escape their own little reality, for their own concept, just like how his heart had swelled with hatred, and it had turned a snowy pelt dark and gray.
Malicefathom was not a kind soul.
As the tom sat in his nest, grumbling to himself with hatred, he would watch each cat pass him with a burning gaze of miscolored eyes, a salmon, and a black. They would watch intently, never to leave the felidae who passed, they didn't want to rest on something else, they wanted to try and find their own reasoning for the stupidity the cats held, to find something of their own. There was still a bit of reassurance he wanted, something to settle him, he believed it was solace, maybe, just once, that he had sought. But he realized, he held no sadness in his gaze, just malice, unfathomable malice, and he wanted all cats to know that.
Every last one of them.
Perhaps, it was time for him to get away from all of this, to simply step away, just for a few moments. He would not leave, he had no intentions to do such a thing, but to get away from all the ruckus, as they spoke to one another, and some even mumbled about him, just to get away from it. Slowly, the dark gray tom got to his paws, his long tongue flickering out, lapping over his dark nose. He didn't say a word to any of the felidae around him, no, not a single word, all they might here from him was his pawsteps. The familiar click, click, click. As his unsheathed claws hit the floor, this happened every time he stood after laying down for so long.
Malicefathom made his way to the field with fluffy animals, ugh, wretched, ugly creatures they were. As they baa'd at him, and chewed on the grass on the ground. He had heard they resembled clouds, although Malicefathom wouldn't know this. He was too scared for that, to look up... To ever look up, he couldn't do it... He just...
It frightened him.
How could the sky frighten a cat? Right down into their core? Scare them so harshly they seemed to almost go insane just looking up... Well, he didn't know the answer to this either, and he hoped he wouldn't learn.... Actually, no, he wished to know, he might be able to surpass this fear if he knew, this phobia would go away, then he'd truly be fearless, and that way, if any cats knew about his fears they would not taunt him and tease him, so far, though, nobody knew.
He planned to keep it that way.
Reaching the field he glanced around, the cold, bitter wind of Winter brushed against his dark gray pelt as he grunted slowly underneath his breath, in almost the manner of thought and questioning. A soft yet bold and angry "Humh...." made its way out of his closed maw as he stood there, before sitting down. Peace, quietness, away from those annoying felidae, almost perfection, almost perfection it was.
Almost.