[ѕανє мє fяσм муѕєℓf] eth + vei

[Nako [Eth]]

   it's so hard, pretending to be strong

Etherealwish was pacing around in the medicine den. Her den was engulfed in the wonderful, relaxing aroma of herbs -- one of her favourite things. She let out a sigh as she inhaled the scent; a shudder rippling through her body as she thought of what had occurred that day. It all seemed like a nightmare. Hearing the news that her only friend left had died. Passed away. Slight anger rushed throughout her veins as her steps slowed to a halt. "She said she'd stay with me." She whispered flatly. "She lied...!" The realisation had been much earlier but she was still covered in shock and fear. She was all alone. The light-brown hued tabby gasped again, her chest heaving for air as she wanted to crumple up in her nest and just wake up. It had to be a dream. Although, the medicine cat knew it wasn't. It was reality coming to scare her from living. It was her demons shrouded by the night coming to send her away. The tabby she-cat sighed, a whimper slowly coaxing it's way out of her sore throat. She didn't want to speak. She couldn't believe it was true, but she had been at the vigil. She had felt Veiledmoon's cold fur beneath her achromatic-coloured paws. Was it my fault..? She thought. No.. she wasn't near me.. I could've helped her though, surely.. I'm a medicine cat. I'm not supposed to let every cat in Hiddenclan die! She felt a sudden repulsiveness towards her, her everything -- her being. It disgusted her to just even breathe or think about it. Thinking about everything that had happened since Kindleheart and Dappledrose had died. At the thought of her mother, she grimaced. She sighed as she looked at her nest. It was battered from pacing practically all night over it, and she bit her lip as she grasped the moss in her jaws and slid it outside of the medicine den. After she had done that, she glanced around. Veiledmoon's body was still in the middle of the clearing; she felt her throat tighten as she saw her best friend, laying there, limp. She shook her head, instantly padding back inside the medicine cats den, trying to get rid of it all. The horrid memories that traced through her mind like a thunderstorm. Veiledmoon, she could see her friend jumping into the cold river, and without a second of hesitance she found herself leaping after her, struggling to save her only friend left in the world. The one cat that meant literally everything to her. She was gone. Gone like the gales that came during a rainstorm, gone like the blood that would soak the ground of the medicine cats den when she tried to treat a wounded feline. Soon, that would be her. That would be everything. Everything would one day be gone. Empty. Vanished from a very existence and forgotten forever. Even she herself would. At the thought of herself vanishing a small smile pursed her maw, but it faded almost as soon as it had come. She grasped the new moss that was at the edge of her den in her jaws and moved it towards its regular spot, where she slept almost every coming dusk. The fae let out a soft sigh before curling up in the moss. So many thoughts raced through her mind, ricocheting through her body like the wildness of a kit becoming an apprentice. She could barely stand the thought of Veiledmoon being dead. She had to see for herself, no matter how hard it took. "Veiledmoon.. I.." Her whisper slipped off her tongue and disappeared into the thin air that fogged though her den. She sighed, her light-brown cranium resting on her appendages, silence coating her for another few passing moments before the temptress managed to close her ice-blue coloured oculars, praying to StarClan she'd dream of Veiledmoon. She had to see her. To see her dainty grey bodice again, but smiling. She'd hardly ever seen Veiledmoon smile. Maybe I will now..? was her last thought as the darkness soon blinded her vision.

It seemed like ages before her weary eyes opened to the semi-familiar world of StarClan. She had been here so many times before she could've called it a second place for her to live. Her reticent gaze cast among the starry ranks of cats, searching for one certain pelt. "Veiledmoon.." The fae breathed, struggling to not scream, having so far no effort in finding her friend. "Veiledmoon!" This time she called out her friends name louder, much louder than she had tried before. That was her name, she reminded herself, biting down on her lower lip as she began to walk around, struggling to find her best friend. The light-brown medicine cat let out a sigh as she muttered under her breath in full-fledged impatience, "This is going to take a long time." A guess, of course, although it was probably true. Veiledmoon could be anymore; she might not even have been in StarClan. How wouldn't she be in StarClan? Other than the fact she didn't believe in them.. The brown she-cat wondered aimlessly, her azure-coloured optics gleaming with excitement as they caught on a slightly familiar grey-hued pelt. "Veiledmoon!" She chanted the StarClan warriors' name yet again, racing towards the cat she had just spotted. "Veiledmoon? Is that you?" Her worried whisper battled the green-leaf breeze as she glanced towards the starry-pelted feline, sorrow and remorse gleaming in her gaze. "I..You said you wouldn't leave me.." She whispered sadly, instantly backing away. "You...I thought.." Etherealwish barely broke through her sudden array of disapproval and fear. "You left me alone," She was suddenly granted the ability to speak from choking back a startled scream. Her words had come out flat and cold like the emptiness she held inside her chest. Her throat tightened and she had to gasp as she struggled to meet the starry fae's blue gaze, struggling to not run away from her friend. "You said you wouldn't leave me..!" The medicine cat whispered in disbelief. "But you.. you left.. just like everyone else." The temptress felt so small, so vulnerable next to the starry she-cat. The medicine cat was practically blurting out everything to Veiledmoon, just like a kit would do. She was basically putting all the blame on her friend. "I.. I thought you would stay with me.. but you left," The broken she-cat gasped out the words. Her whole bodice was trembling with remorse that she had to sit down, and in the process she lowered her gaze from the younger cats. She was practically incapable of meeting it anyhow; it made her feel so weak and pathetic. That's because you are weak, can't you tell? A husky voice whispered through her mind as the little fae continued shaking, filled with shock and regret for abandoning her friend when she had needed her most.

  when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Vei Muse: 89% Words: 1,158 Notes:     

wow I finally got the muse to make this! i'm so sorry i kept you waiting, Vei! it took me so long and now i'm like flooded with muse. but now i have to go.. it's past my bedtime, sorry! i'll probably reply to all the other threads tomorrow cx btw to anyone reading this this is after vei died (although the thread hasn't really been completed yet so) yep. n_n 

[Vei]

It was strange, how something everyone talks about as suffering could be so tranquil. At first, the injuries sting and ooze with blood... You're life.. And it spatters the ground with crimson. You start to panic, your nerves screaming that you might die. You start calling for help, begging your God that someone will save you from this nightmare. Before long, you can't seem to breath, no matter how hard you try, this alone forces you to crumple to the ground, struggling as your claws sink into the forest floor, eyes wide in terror. Air! That's all you want! But now you're coughing up blood.. You're not coming back from this you admit to yourself finally.
When the gray she-cat had closed her eyes, a wave of calm had wash over her, easing her movements of struggle. As she stilled, she could dimly hear a voice, begging her. "Don't go! Please!" Drawing in a weak breath, could hear another voice. "Mom!" Giving a small smile, the fae uttered her response, "I'll..be..fine." And that was it.
When she opened her eyes again, she could see a figure in front of her. "Etherealwish?" As the stranger shook it's head, Veiledmoon took a step back, utterly confused. They looked so similar.. That's when it caught her attention. She had an odd opacity.. And stars.. In her fur. "Come on! I have some friends I want you to meet!." Azure eyes widening, she shook her head slowly, denying the fact in front of her. "I'm not d-dead..." Looking down to look at herself, a chocked gasp escaped her. Stars. "Uh.. Yeah you are. My name is Dappledrose by the way." The name made the dark pelted fae's heart shatter as reality hit her, hard. Threm was real... And she was dead... She'd left everyone behind against her will.
She'd been sitting in StarClan for what felt like years, listening to other starry warriors chatting as she replayed her death, trying to think if there could be anyway that would've ended with her survival. Waiting and having Sheepfrost accompany her seemed to be the only way that living on would've been possible. As a familiar looking she-cat ran into her, Veiledmoon grinned at the multi-hued feline. Always ruffling up her fur! As Cherrybliss continued to walk away, the achromatic furred cat smiled, glad to see at least one friendly face. Though she enjoyed StarClan so far, she couldn't help but grieve for herself, for she'd left so much behind and had been young still, with many moons of life to go. As she gazed about the dream-like haven, Veiledmoon couldn't help but be amazed at how many starry warriors there were... There seemed to be almost no end to them.
"Veiledmoon!" Her dark gray ears perked, instantly recognizing that voice. Turning her head to see an unmistakeably familiar medicine cat, her voice died in her chest, a scream wanting to escape her now instead. No! She can't be dead! Etherealwish?! As soon as she was sure no stars were in her best friend's pelt, a bright smile formed on her face. "Etherealwish!" "Veiledmoon? Is that you?" She couldn't help but nod quickly and giggle excitedly. She didn't abandon Etherealwish! She was a medicine cat, they spoke with StarClan frequently! This was perf- "I..You said you wouldn't leave me.." Her ears flattened in shame, "I'm so sorry! I-I didn't leave you! I'm still here to guide you! It wasn't my fault, please don't be mad at me," she pleaded, sapphire eyes glowing with sorrow. She had more to say but she didn't interrupt as her best friend spoke again. As the brown tabby stepped away from her, hurt flashed across her face as her smile faded to a look of sadness. "You... I thought.." Veiledmoon looked away in shame, realizing she'd let her closest friend down because of her own twisted family. "Threm took-" "You left me alone."
The young StarClan warrior frowned, "I... I didn't want to! I'll always be here for you.. It wasn't my choice, you have to believe me," she murmured, her voice thick with grief. Looking up to see her friend look away made her heart break. Whoever said dead cats can't feel pain... They were wrong. "You said you wouldn't leave me..!" Tears welled in her blue gaze, "I..." "But you.. you left.. just like everyone else." She couldn't think of anything to say that could possibly ease the medicine cat's mind other than what she had already said. "I am never going to leave you... Even if I'm dead, I'll watch over you.. always," the dead fae promised.
"I.. I thought you would stay with me.. but you left," Etherealwish's voice sounded so weak.. So betrayed. Her ears flattened to her skull as guilt rammed into her. "I am staying with you...!" Seeing her friend so upset she was shaking, she moved forward and pressed her semi-transparent body against Etherealwish, "I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to die... I just went to find Shroudedpaw and Moonpaw... And.." She sighed softly, aware that hardly any of her words would actually stick. "A brother I have that I didn't even know I had.. Killed me. His name is Threm," she murmured, trying to prove that it hadn't been on purpose that she'd joined StarClan's ranks. "I would never leave you on purpose and I promise I'm still here for you when ever you need me."

Word count: about 914?
tags: Nako [Eth]
comments: tada xD I'm on my phone so I had to count how many words it was myself so that's an estimate. Hope you enjoy my reply!

[Nako [Eth]]

    it's so hard, pretending to be strong

"I am staying with you...!" Veiledmoon's words pierced at her skin. She glared at the ground with her ever-intensifying blue gaze, anger brimming at the seams of her body. "How? You're in Starclan.." She spat the last word as if it were venom on her tongue. "Starclan's taking everything away from me. They took everyone I loved. There's nobody left there that cares for me, back in HiddenClan." She glanced to the left for a mere second before trying to handle the pain of looking into Veiledmoon's blue orbs. "I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to die... I just went to find Shroudedpaw and Moonpaw... And.." The she-cat tensely continued listening to Veiledmoon's explanation and she let out a sigh. She had stopped listening to Veiledmoon's words with full-on concentration until her friend spoke the few words that made her fur on her spine rise in anger. "I would never leave you on purpose and I promise I'm still here for you when ever you need me." Instantly her eyes grew into glares at her friend. "How..? You already left!" She hissed angrily. "You can't be here for me, nobody can. They've all left, Veiledmoon! There's nobody left in HiddenClan who cares about me! You could ask them yourself.." Her voice low into a breaking whisper, exhaling as she began to run away from her friend, trying not to get lost in the masses of starry-pelted warriors. So many of them were familiar to her. Dappledrose, Applethorn, Seawhisker.. The names cast in her head as a group of cats rushed past her. Amethystmoon, Ghostfur, Kindleheart.. She continued to think of the names of her friends who had long since past their time of living. There was so many. Cherrybliss, Veiledmoon.. She added to the list of names. At Veiledmoon's name her chest tightened up and she continued walking from her frozen position. Cheetahcloud. The name seemed breathless to her; she had hardly ever seen Cheetahcloud anymore. Was she still there..? The tabby fae wondered, feeling one of the starry warriors rush into her and the medicine cat  tripped and fell onto the green grasses below. She sighed, watching the cat instantly run away from her and she rolled her eyes in irritation. Drippingcloud...Where was she? She asked herself, glancing around to try and find her sisters familiar blue-grey pelt, but to no avail. Starrystream.. She added to her mind. It was so hard, remembering those close to her she had lost. Everyone seemed to be fading away from her, day by ongoing day. She had nobody left now. There was nobody left she loved alive anymore, was there? Hiddenclan. The memory came like a green-leaf breeze. Spending time with her happy mother -- oh how she envied her happiness. Not having a care in the world seemed so wonderful. How did Dappledrose see the world? The brown-furred medicine cat found the thought wedged through her mind and she soon decided that she didn't want an answer. Endless trees of the StarClan soon surrounded her as she glanced about, trying her hardest not to scream out Veiledmoon's name as she wound through thousands and thousands of trees, trying her hardest to get away from the starry warrior that would haunt her for eternity. Sorrow and grief and regret raked at her skin, tearing herself to shards of nothing, just pure emptiness. She felt herself collapse on the green grasses that rested beneath her paws, gently tickling at her white-furred stomach as she lay there, panting, gasping for air. Sobs racked at her bodice, trembling with disbelief and anger at herself, at everything she'd possessed. "Why..?" She whispered, struggling to get back up to her paws again. The medicine cat exhaled, her eyes widening as she stared forwards, towards the scenery that laid before her onlooking ice-blue gaze. See? Pathetic, that's what you are! the voice cooed inside her mind. A sigh escaped her maw. "Veiledmoon.." Her voice was soft as honey now and quiet like the gentle breeze of new-leaf. The feline sighed and shook her head, slowly heaving herself up with her achromatic-hued paws. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to get upset.. I.. just thought you could stay longer.." The temptress murmured, trying her hardest to maintain her cool. "Maybe StarClan's cursed me," The light-brown ticked tabby fae wondered aloud. "Is that why.. why everyone leaves me so much?" The slender. light brown ticked tabby medicine cat asked, mainly to herself, to basically nobody in particular, but the medicine cat took a long pause, that seemed like eons to her as she continued. "Maybe you'll like it here," The she-cat mewed, standing upright and turning back the direction she had ran from. "Uh.. V-veiledmoon.." The seemingly casual word choked through her throat, causing her to gasp as a shudder ran through her body. "I..I.. really didn't mean to say what I did.." The fae admitted, guilt washing over her body like a rainstorm covered by a rainbow. Her banner hung lowly, wavering left-to-fro as she glanced, her guilt flourishing through her entire being, at the ground as the time slowly passed by the fae, every moment sending a grip of realisation that her friend wouldn't be in Hiddenclan and that she was truly alone this time.

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Vei Muse: 76% Words: 878 Notes:       

Hey x3 Sorry this is a tad bit short I guess.. My parents said I was like writing an essay because I've worked on this all night XD.. My mom really likes the fact that I'm all writing and stuff. She really supports my roleplaying ^-^ She says it makes my english grow and my vocabulary and my imagination :3 Imagination is the key to everything. Night Vei :p I have to go to sleep now.. I'm getting a cat in the morning, I think I might name it after you or Seren.. I don't know xP. I'm so scared.. excitement too.. Eeee, I can't wait ♥ Night Vei and sweet dreams Sister xD

[Vei]

The gray fae almost fell over as the silence dragged on, neither one saying anything as Veiledmoon waited for a response... an answer... anything. As soon as the brown tabby opened her mouth, a breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding, much less even need, escaped her maw. "How? You're in Starclan.. Starclan's taking everything away from me. They took everyone I loved. There's nobody left there that cares for me, back in HiddenClan." This made her gawk, "You may as well say Moonpaw can't love anyone because she's almost deaf," she hissed, making a comparison just as reasonable, "And you're not the only one affected by StarClan's choices! I miss Drippingcloud just as much as you do," the female said, her tone warning Etherealwish she had little room to complain, "You're not the dead one who had to feel the slow suffocation pulling you, the terror you feel when you suddenly can't breath, can't speak and beg for help or even say your good-byes." Sucking in a breath, she held her tongue, aware her own grief was making her upset quickly. Those who lived on didn't seem to realize that even those who died can be upset that they're gone. Tears were welled in her eyes since the medicine cat had started getting mad at her. It wasn't fair! She hadn't chosen this and now she was being blamed and called a liar. Staring in defiance as she tried not to cry, found it hard not to. She missed Sheepfrost, his cool nose pressing against her cheek each morning to wake her. She missed her kits, each one of them, despite their problems. She missed being alive... around the cats she loved. It was nice to see Cherrybliss but she never knew her well before she'd died anyway, making it difficult to talk to anyone since she knew no one other than Blanckit... but she'd yet to see him among the ranks of the starry warriors.
"How..? You already left!" Her ears flattened in shame, the guilt hitting her again without mercy. "I didn't mean to leave! Stop shoving the blame on me! You think I wanted to die today?! To leave Sheepfrost and all of my kits?! How dare you assume I'd ever want to hurt anyone like that!" By the time she'd realized she'd raised her voice, she was almost screaming. Silencing herself, she frowned, horrified in herself to have let it get so far out of hand. She slowly started backing away, guilt and grief written on her face plain as day. What am I doing?! I'm alienating myself to my best friend... I'm yelling at her... I'm... yelling.. at her. Voiceless, she stumbled to find words to apologize but the short-furred she-cat was already running away from her, she too seemed to hate what they were doing. They'd never been like this.... so hateful.. and cruel to one another. As soon as she regained her words, she called after her friend, "Etherealwish!" She started to chase after the surprisingly quick brown fae, "Come back! I'm sorry!... Please!"
She didn't know how long it took her or how she'd managed to lose her, but when she found the medicine cat, her paws were dimly sore but the pain was ebbing away quickly. Being dead had its perks. I'd experience a million days of hurting pads to be alive again.. She sat down, leaving her friend some space as she gasped, catching her breath. She must not be used to running so far... When she heard noise emitting from near her, she looked up from her paws to see it was Etherealwish speaking. She had to perk her ears, straining to hear her now quiet voice. "Veiledmoon.." She didn't respond, just sitting there, her tail wrapping around her paws in an effort to feel comfortable... to relax and settle down. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to get upset.. I.. just thought you could stay longer.." Immediately, she responded, unable to stand hearing her friend blame herself, "You're allowed to grieve... And I honestly thought I'd be around longer too," she whispered, moving her gaze to her paws in shame, "I didn't mean to give you false hope... I really was going to stay with you.." After a small break, the quiet whistling of wind was drowned out as Etherealwish spoke up again. "Maybe StarClan's cursed me.. Is that why.. why everyone leaves me so much?"
Veiledmoon didn't know how to respond. She honestly thought they both seemed cursed. You've lost the ones you love... I was born into the wrong family so they took me young.. She voiced none of this but she did shake her head slowly, realizing this was a stupid thought. StarClan wouldn't do this without a purpose... would they? "Maybe you'll like it here." Eyes widening slightly, her azure gaze looked up, seeing Etherealwish get up and turn to face her finally. But her tone... it caught as she had spoken... She really was taking this hard.. Sighing softly, she hung her head, "I don't know... if I do. Honestly... I'm just as upset as all of you are... that I'm dead.. I know.. Selfish right?"
She sat there, staring at her paws as a gentle breeze through the heavenly plains she now had to roam.. forever... until she was so long forgotten, she'd just fade away. She didn't say anything else.. she didn't want to say anything that would make it worse, though chances were she'd already done that. "Uh.. V-veiledmoon.. I..I.. really didn't mean to say what I did.." At this, the achromatic fae felt tears fall down her cheeks as a small but fake laugh escaped her. "But that's the thing isn't it now?... When people are hurt the truth, though it's harsh, comes out..." She sucked in a shaky breath, "I'm glad you're still alive Etherealwish..." she whispered, "Tell my family I love them alright?" She didn't know what else to say anymore... she knew she was hurt and that she was still upset that she was dead and she didn't want to stay around so all these other cats could see her crying. She should be happy... she was in StarClan! But she wasn't... not yet. As she rose to her paws, she continued to avoid eye contact, preparing to go her own way and get used to the fact this was no nightmare... it was all real.

ooc;
word count; 1181
tags; Nako [Eth]
comments; there you go ^^

[Nako [Eth]]

    it's so hard, pretending to be strong

For what seemed to Etherealwish like decades, maybe even more, she could hear only her own trembling breathing and her heart rapidly pounding in her ribcage. Gritting her teeth as she began to hear Veiledmoon trail after her she wanted to scream at her to leave. Don't get too close, Veiledmoon. Why can't you just leave me alone?! You're not helping this at all, why can't you realise that? You can't come back. You're gone forever and nothing can bring you back. Nothing. You don't understand how hard it is...! She shouted silently in her mind, but to what -- or who -- exactly? The voices were racing through her mind, and Veiledmoon wasn't making it much easier to take. That was why she'd run, surely..? "I didn't mean to give you false hope... I really was going to stay with you.." Etherealwish heard the gray femme reply to her, but she didn't say anything back to her. She couldn't find it in her to believe her, anything now.. how could she? The guilt was weighing down on her chest and it was making it hard to breathe. Biting her lip she angrily replied, "Yeah. You were going to stay with me. Why would you want to stay with me now, Veiledmoon?!" The brown-and-white tabby she-cat let out a hiss, incapable of bearing the guilt to meet her icy-hued gaze. At her next words, she felt herself breaking again, piece by piece. "I don't know... if I do. Honestly... I'm just as upset as all of you are... that I'm dead.. I know.. Selfish right?" Her voice seemed to soothe her agony she was trying her hardest to withhold but it wasn't enough. "Y-You'll love it here, Veiledmoon. Cheetahcloud's told me all about StarClan." Her voice was trembling and it was barely audible as she tried to change the subject somewhat; not to mention it was cracking in some parts in her speech as well. They left you because they hate you, Etherealwish. Isn't that obvious? The whispers of her mind caressed her, making her tremble even more than before. "V-Veiledmoon.. you're nowhere near b-being selfish.." Her words came out as a squeak and she struggled to hide it, but of course her attempt was to no avail. Part of her wanted to stop it all; the thoughts of how she would do it, if she would do it, what would happen if she did or how she would go on if she wouldn't in the end. Even so, she'd thought about how she would let herself escape plenty times before -- far too many for her to count -- and maybe now was the time. You heard Veiledmoon. She'll never leave you, watch over you..ha..whatever! She was losing herself in her thoughts once more; things she'd always longed to say as she opened her maw to speak, but nothing would come out except another inaudible squeak. It's not real. It's not real! But she's there..it's just a nightmare.. it can't be real..but it is..she's gone. She felt as if she had been buried underneath boulders; every breath came out in a gasp and the medicine cat struggled to pull herself back together -- as if that was even possible at this point. "I'm glad you're still alive Etherealwish..." She heard her last best friend whisper to her. Ha.. alive.. right. Where's the proof of my existence? "Alive.." she muttered the word under her breath, slowly lifting her cranium to meet her azure-coloured gaze, swallowing the guilt and sorrow that still lay in her throat as she watched her starry pelt. "Tell my family I love them all right?" Not saying anything, the brown tabby feline only replied with a simple nod, still watching her in silence. Her vision was beginning to fade back to darkness; sincere emptiness. She was leaving her to rest in StarClan alone, despite her desire to stay, stay forever with her here. No.. not now..! Not now..I still want to talk..I..please..! Pleading wouldn't help her stay with her loved ones. Pleading wouldn't let her be with Veiledmoon, Cheetahcloud and Drippingcloud forever; why couldn't she seem to realise that what she was doing -- moping around and letting it affect her more and more with every growing second -- wasn't helping at all and it would make her emotions worse, until they grew far out of her control? As everything seemed to swirl into nothing but darkness, the fae opened her ice-blue gaze to notice she was awake once more, alone with her thoughts once more. She could leave, leave it all but she'd have no way to protect herself from the thoughts and everything out there other than herbs. Hah, all medicine cats do is pick flowers! Drippingcloud, her sister's words echoed in her head and she suppressed a flinch, biting anxiously on her lower lip as she, shaking, got up to her paws. They want me to stay alive..but do their opinions matter any more..? She was so confused, what to do, what to do. Everything was spinning out of control and she didn't feel like she could handle it any more, but maybe somewhere inside her she could find the strength to go on, just for a little longer.

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Words: 885 Tags: Vei Muse: 67% Notes:       

uh. this is so late! I'm so sorry.. life is a mess atm.. yeah. You should listen to this. it's a really awesome song that I'm like addicted to with right now ^^'