[ i can't drown my demons, they know how to swim. ] ethdrip

[Nako [Eth]]

   it's so hard, pretending to be strong

The brown-and-white coloured ticked tabby feline opened her azure-coloured optics to take in the different colours of StarClan territory. It was becoming as familiar as HiddenClan camp was to her; she'd been coming here practically every night since Drippingcloud had passed away. They'd made an arrangement to put into some kind of recovery process to make her less suicidal, to make her less broken. At first it worked fine, but she slipped after a week. It became easier with time. Easier to try to like herself. To try and realise she wasn't a monster. She wasn't horrible. She wasn't disgusting. She kept slipping after the second time and she was unable to get back up again, was she? Time was everything, wasn't it? Cherish the time you had? Flicking her brown-and-white coloured banner softly, the breeze ruffling her pelt gently as she padded through towards the forest where they usually met. Nervousness landing in her stomach. The ticked tabby fae had slipped once again and of course Drippingcloud knew about it. Etherealwish had basically told Drippingcloud everything -- ranted to her, the sister who had tried to kill her in effort to maintain the warrior code, the sister who in the end had saved her life. Everything. Would her blue-furred best friend be mad? She wasn't sure; maybe she'd try to help her. She hated this. Hated it all; the recovery process, the way it was heading. It wasn't going to work, but Drippingcloud had insisted her to try. 'Just try! If you have someone to talk to, maybe it'll make things easier to handle. I don't want you to go here, Etherealwish.' Her sister's voice ringing through her mind, blurring all previous thoughts into non existence. "Drippingcloud?" The ice blue-eyed medicine cat called out, her voice slightly quiet, like her usual nature. Timid. Biting down on her lip, she moved her cranium to glance around, halting by the side of a tree. Where was her sister? She was usually here earlier and Etherealwish tended to be late -- she had problems with getting lost in her thoughts. Was she okay... of course she was, this was StarClan. Her sister would always be okay, that she knew, but would she herself ever be?

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Eternal Snow Muse: 60% Words: 371 Notes: 

Hi ^^ I've gotten into bands. they're amazing. I mean, i was into them before, ut like. wow. Also I didn't know whether to put this in StarClan territory or Ripple to Rapids because they go there later ?? So yeahhh. I'm glad we're in touch again Drip ^^ Being without you is like...its horrible. Yeah.. um..awkward..Anyway weeee

Song: Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me the Horizon

[Eternal Snow]

  The world was dark. Where night was in the world, the void the two sisters were in seemed to be darker, lacking the stars and the bright moon that the sky of the living was usually composed of. There Drippingcloud sat, blue- green eyes showing none. She was adorn with stars, that seemed to glimmer and speckle despite the empty void they were found in. "Why so timid Etherealwish?" The blue-grey feline murmured, her dull multicolored eyes reflecting no emotion. Her transparent body was coated with occasional scars, blending in with her blue fur. Emptiness in her gaze. "You have to move on and forget about the past, you know." The words sounded more of a demand rather than a gesture, as the transparent she- cat flattened her ears, tilting her head. "We are always watching over you. You can't be afraid of everything anymore, your clan needs you... Especially during this long leafbare." She blinked, her gaze growing grave.  "With greencough and the lack of herbs to come, would you not worry as well?" Drippingcloud frowned, the air around them growing cold.  "It would be best if you just forgot about us all together." She murmured simply, looking away from her sister.

Word count - 203
Notes - Guess who's alive :) And thanks Eth qwq. I've really missed you too. Its really nice to be roleplaying again ;w;.

[Nako [Eth]]

    it's so hard, pretending to be strong

'Why so timid Etherealwish?' Her siblings strange voice made her lift her head to meet her blue and green gaze. "I'm around someone. Yeah, I'm going to be timid. Deal with it." The words forced out of her mouth in a snarl, something she hadn't meant to do. Another accident just waiting to happen. 'You have to move on and forget about the past, you know.' She gritted her teeth. "Yeah. I know." She said flatly, glaring at her sister. "Why do you have to bring this up now?" she asked, hoping she wouldn't get an answer to her question. 'We are always watching over you.' How could she be so calm about this topic? How? It seemed impossible to her. "Yeah. I know. You've told me that a million times now. Okay, good for you. I don't know who to believe anymore. I mean, haven't you heard what Serenitystar's been saying recently?" The brown-and-white coloured medicine cat asked, honest curiosity appearing in her azure-coloured gaze as she watched her deceased sister quietly, banner flicking against the green grass. 'You can’t be afraid of everything anymore, your clan needs you.. Especially during this long leaf-bare.' She felt the fur on the edge of her spine begin to rise with her growing anger at the she-cat and she forced it back down again. "Yeah. Sure. They need me. We've went through this before, remember? You sound like you're my mother." She hissed. "If I wanted to talk to my mother, I'd be with Dappledrose. But I'm with you. There's a difference." The fae growled, removing her gaze from her sisters and instead lowering it to the ground. 'With green cough and the lack of herbs to come, would you not be worried as well?' I'm not a kit! She wanted to hiss, opening her mouth to reply as she stared down at her achromatic-hued paws. "Of course I worry. I'm a medicine cat. They can do without me. They have Florapaw. She's almost done with her training." She added, hoping she could change the subject, even if it wasn't much to talk about.

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Eternal Snow Muse: 55% Words: 352 Notes:       

Replied ^^ Sorry. My cousin's so annoying right now ;;

[Eternal Snow]

“You cling onto the past like a kit to its mother." She prompted simply. ‘If I wanted to talk to my mother, I'd be with Dappledrose. But I'm with you. There's a difference.’ Drippingcloud lowered her head, an ear twitching in slight annoyance. “She’s not my mother. As long as I exist, I will never refer to her as that.” She hissed through clenched teeth. “Even Darknight was more of a parent then she was- her and Ironclaw combined.” She muttered coldly. She hadn’t seen the raven colored tom in moons- but no matter what, she felt as though she could never forget the night he had saved her. She felt as though she owed a debt to him. ‘Of course I worry. I’m a medicine cat. They can do without me. They have Florapaw.’ Drippingcloud narrowed her dull eyes, walking closer to her littermate. "So, you’re willing to leave your clan behind?” She murmured, eyes growing dark. “Would you be willing to lay all of your responsibility on one apprentice?” She tilted her head, as though curious. “Do I need to remind you of how our clan was abandoned by Willowpool, as she left you to maintain everything in this clan alone?” Drippingcloud sat down, grooming a blue paw. “I didn’t expect selfishness from you, out of all others.” She simply prompted, not even looking in Etherealwish’s direction.  

Word count - 238
Notes -Finally responded :3 

[Nako [Eth]]

    it's so hard, pretending to be strong

Gritting her teeth, she couldn't handle Drippingcloud, couldn't bear it, no not at all. This was so weird for even her sister, after all that had happened between the moons that had passed she'd hoped they would stay with all sins forgiven, but obviously that wasn't true. "Why are you being so harsh? It's not like you." She whispered, eyes wide; she felt like her heart was ripping in two, agony she couldn't control, orders she was unable of obeying, not now, not ever. 'She's not my mother.' Etherealwish flicked her tail, claws flexing in and out and digging them into the ground to help ease her rapidly growing anger. "How could you say that? Are you okay? I can't believe you right now!" She hissed angrily. 'Even Darknight was more of a parent then she was- her and Ironclaw combined.' She felt herself instinctively freeze. "He tried to kill me, Drippingcloud!" She was shouting at her sister now, unable to control it anymore. "He tried to kill me and now you're on his side? You're a monster, Drippingcloud! I.." The medicine cat's voice lowered to a whisper as she lifted her head to glance at her sister's darkening gaze. 'So, you’re willing to leave your clan behind?' She didn't want to reply. She had to. She couldn't, but she knew that she had to. "Yeah, I am. Do you have a problem? You obviously don't seem to care." The brown-and-white coloured feline hissed through gritted teeth. 'I didn’t expect selfishness from you, out of all others.' How could she.. She wanted to cry, to run, anything to just get away from her rotten ex-clan mate. "How am I related to you? You're a monster. I can't believe you. I can't.." her voice shook, unable to control it, losing her everything. How could she say that? How could she? After everything that happened! Is it all gone? Why is she acting this way? I don't want to lose her again! The brown-and-white ticked tabby medicine cat would give anything to turn back time, to take away all her sins, anything.

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Eternal Snow Muse: 55% Words: 350 Notes:       

you took forever >: geez xD okay wee

[Eternal Snow]

‘Why are you being so harsh? It's not like you.’ Harsh…? The words actually confused the grey and blue she- cat for barely a moment, yet she quickly brushed it off, frowning. “Me, being harsh? Were you always this dramatic?” She muttered flatly. Emotions. They seemed distant, a luxury that came with being alive. "This is me." Drippingcloud stood up, her dull, pupil-less eyes boring into her sister’s. “This is the path I chose and this is what I chose to accept. Nothing can- and will ever- change that.” ‘Are you okay?’ Was she okay? The starry cat began to question herself, staring down at her transparent paws. Transparent. Dead. “I’m being honest.” She retorted, face furrowing in annoyance. "I barely remember Dappledrose and Ironclaw being in our lives at all.” She flicked her tail behind her- almost furiously. “They hated us. They didn’t care about us. I barely remember their names, even though I wish I could forget them. Darknight, her, and you were the only family I’ve ever had.” Their surroundings seemed to grow more heavy- more dark as she felt herself lose every ounce of composure she had ever had. “A monster?” She snarled, gripping at the earth with sheathed paws. “Not once have I done something without putting my clan before me! I earned my place in StarClan!” She hissed, fury overtaking her almost immediately, the heat of it all daring her to say it. “It makes me wonder if you’ll ever make it, considering you’re so eager to leave behind your duties!” She took a deep breath, staring down at the ground. “Im sure I would be better off if you didn’t exist- your kits as well."

Word count - 291
Notes -Don't say it Drip. Don't- oh.

[Nako [Eth]]

   it's so hard, pretending to be strong

'Me, being harsh? Were you always this dramatic?' Her azure eyes widened. The fae felt herself tense up and slowly she backed away from her sister, her maw open but nothing came out. 'This is me.' Drippingcloud's lying. This is just a nightmare. I'll wake up and everything would be okay. But she knew it wouldn't be. This was Drippingcloud. Dead. That's how it would always be from now on and so forth. It had been that way for a while now. 'This is the path I chose and this is what I chose to accept. Nothing can- and will ever- change that.' Etherealwish bit down on her lip, her eyes wide. "No! You're lying! Y-you're.. lying.." the medicine cat whispered softly. 'I’m being honest. I barely remember Dappledrose and Ironclaw being in our lives. I barely remember their names even. Darknight, her, and you were the only family I’ve ever had.' A gasp escaped her throat and she stood there, staring at her sister, fear choking through her, unable to breath. "He.. he tried to kill me.. and yet you consider him family.." She shook her head, anger fizzling through her bodice, her tail lashing as it brushed the green grass. "You really are a monster, Drippingcloud. I can't believe I ever trusted you." The brown-and-white ticked tabby feline hissed agitatedly; removing her glare from Drippingcloud and trying to calm down. 'A monster? Not once have I done something without putting my clan before me! I earned my place in StarClan!' A laugh escaped Etherealwish's throat almost immediately. "You tried to kill a medicine cat! You killed your clan-mate, and you trained in the Dark Forest and probably still are, and yet you have the right to say that, Drippingcloud?!" She shouted, letting her anger mix into her words. She couldn't believe her. 'It makes me wonder if you’ll ever make it, considering you’re so eager to leave behind your duties! I'm sure I would be better off if you didn't exist- your kits as well.' Freezing the medicine cat said nothing, praying to nothing, pleading that she could leave this wretched place and the monster that was her sister. Her azure-coloured oculars closed and then there was darkness.

  when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Eternal Snow Muse: 50% Words: 370 Notes: 

blah. I'm not feeling good at all. life is a mess. Just fuck everything. ggg

[Eternal Snow]

‘No! You’re lying! Y-you’re.. lying...’ Drippingcloud flicked her blue colored tail in frustration, slamming a paw into the soft ground beneath them as she stepped closer. “It’s time for you to open your eyes Etherealwish!” She snarled, feeling anger bubble inside of her. “Its been moons since it happened! I DIED in that clearing, Etherealwish!” ‘He.. he tried to kill me.. and yet you consider him family..’ Drippingcloud narrowed her blue-green eyes, frowning at her sister. “He was my only guidance for the majority of my life. I- I trusted him, and he certainly did a better job then Dappledrose and Ironclaw combined.” ‘You really are a monster, Drippingcloud. I can't believe I ever trusted you.’ “Well you better learn to trust me Etherealwish!” The she- cat retorted, not even taking the insult into account. “You have no idea how its like here in StarClan! We are barely allowed to guide and interfere with your destinies, and yet all of you so willingly throw your lives away. Anyone would give anything to be alive again!” Drippingcloud watched as her sister’s shape began to fade, and she let out a deep sigh, a mix of relief and distress. It wasn’t even supposed to be in her power to communicate so much with Etherealwish, interfering could only make things worse. But Etherealwish was her younger sister. No matter how much the she-cat bickered, she loved her sister unconditionally. She would surely be nothing without her kin. Yeah, Nothing. The heterochromatic she-cat turned her head, staring at the serene pool behind her, its reflection seeming to show all. The blue she- cat took a quick glance around, before stepping on the rocks that surrounded the water, and walking into the moist haze. She was never one to abide by the rules anyways. Drippingcloud’s eyes widen as a brief feeling of life overwhelmed her, making her feel as though she was drowning, breathing in water. The feeling quickly subsided, and before she blinked, the environment had completely changed. 

Word count - 345
Notes -I was done with this and accidentally pressed esc before I published it im

[Nako [Eth]]

    it's so hard, pretending to be strong

'It’s time for you to open your eyes Etherealwish!' The way she found herself incapable of even thinking; how she couldn't breathe, couldn't stop the fire that flared on and on in her chest, forever silently screaming out in agony; the fae was practically choking on air. 'Its been moons since it happened! I DIED in that clearing, Etherealwish!' The memories of her sister snarling at her, piercing her skin sharper than thorns. She was unable to speak, nothing. 'He was my only guidance for the majority of my life. I- I trusted him, and he certainly did a better job then Dappledrose and Ironclaw combined.' She couldn't, blinded, drowning in her own sea of thoughts. 'Well you better learn to trust me Etherealwish!' How could you trust someone that tried to kill you? That put you down with every word they said? That thought you were a traitor? How? Was it even possible to do so? 'You have no idea how its like here in StarClan! We are barely allowed to guide and interfere with your destinies, and yet all of you so willingly throw your lives away. Anyone would give anything to be alive again!' The fae's azure oculars widened in shock, a breathless gasp escaping her opened maw. The overwhelming scent of herbs flooded her nostrils as she took in a breath, a meaningless gasp for air. 'Its been moons since it happened! I DIED in that clearing, Etherealwish!' How could she say that.. 'It makes me wonder if you’ll ever make it, considering you’re so eager to leave behind your duties!' Words flooded her mind; unable to move, wanting to scream, nothing. Voices that would whisper so casually into her head, voices she told herself weren't real, but yet she found herself obeying their every command, just like a dog. She would roll over and beg for the voices in her head, playing their symphonies that seemed to never end, ringing in her ears. Bliss from agony, right? Was she allowed to feel so bad about herself? Am I... What am I? Who am I? 'I'm sure I would be better off if you didn’t exist- your kits as well.' Her sister's voice lingering endlessly in her head, spinning, screaming. A broken record spiralling out of control; was that what she had turned out to be? 'You're a traitor!' Watching her past self run into a river, the way her sister ended up letting her drown. How... but she had ended up escaping the cold, soothing grip of death. it wasn't her time yet, back then, she supposed. The brown ticked tabby feline got up to her paws, stretching instinctively, her azure eyes taking in her surroundings. The medicine cat's den. Was that was she was? Just another medicine cat? Another living being waiting for their time to die? For their time to expire? A time bomb ticking slowly, running out of fuse. Was that what she was? 'You cling onto the past like a kit to its mother.' Her sister was a monster, right? To be able to talk to her sibling like that? it was as if she never cared at all. she probably didn't. Gritting her teeth, her crown lowered to view the ground beneath her, coated with dust. Sure, it had been moons since her sisters death, but she wasn't that good at dealing with losing all her loved ones, as she had proved endless times. Veiledmoon..Dappledrose..Seawhisker..Kindleheart..Drippingcloud..Applethorn.. She thought of them everyday, with every second that passed by. One day she would join them too. The thought made a small smile form her facial features as she stared at the floor of the medicine cat's den, the den she'd stayed in for almost her whole life. 'It would be best if you just forgot about us all together.' Was that right? Could she really do that? A step out of the den, a step into the wilderness. A step into HiddenClan's camp, her home. Was that really her home, or was it with everyone she'd loved? 'Theres no point in protecting this pathetic excuse for a medicine cat.' A laugh bubbled up inside the light brown-coloured temptress, but it didn't dare escape her maw. The feline lifted her cranium to view HiddenClan's camp; one of the few places she seemed to know by heart. Her ice-blue gaze landed on the two guards that guarded the entrance to their Clan's camp; she lowered her cranium and her appendages seemed to move forward without her wanting them to.



you say that you can save me


She held in a breath as she waited impatiently; feeling their gazes harden as they watched her pass; she swallowed a bit of fear, hoping they wouldn't ask where she was going, what she was doing up so late. If they did, she had an excuse anyway. it's not like they would care, right? if she really was so pathetic as they said she was. 'At least I don't betray my clan for kittypets!' Her sibling. 'You are a traitor! If our medicine cat isn't faithful to StarClan, then who can we trust?' 'I always broke the warrior code? Saying all of that about me makes you seem like such an angel!' She was drowning in her self-loathing. 'Look me in the eyes and tell me that you've never broken the warrior code.' She slowly raised her crown; the forest, the simple beginning of HiddenClan territory. She rose her cranium to glance up at the starry night sky, the moon gleaming brightly. The night always cast a strange feeling of serenity inside her, even if her thoughts never seemed to leave her alone, no matter how much she pleaded or begged for the pain to stop. Nobody wants to die, they just want the pain to end. Etherealwish felt a breath escape her maw; she could nearly see its faint silhouette in the sky as it escaped to the wind. Shaking her head sharply, the fae picked up her pace. Trees seemed to surround her every step she took, a small feeling of claustrophobia escalating inside of her stomach like igniting fire. The darkness seemed to beckon her onward; closer to its never-ending chamber, and how eagerly she seemed to pounce through. How it serenaded her; as it it were hell on earth. it was the true meaning of perfection to her, death and all of it. The fae slowly felt her bodice tense up as a too-familiar shade of blue revealed through the shade. "Out of all of them, it had to be you." She muttered inaudibly, her gaze instantly hardening onto the fae that stood before her, trying to seem what she wasn't -- strong.

don't hope to ever find me

   when in reality, everything is crashing to the ground

 Tags: Eternal Snow Muse: 88% Words: 1128 Notes:       

hi Drip!! sorry this took such a long time. i've had it done for a while just was too lazy to post it lolz. Anyway i guess i'm sorta proud ?? Not rly sure lolz I was trying to hit 1200 but 1100 is cool too ig

song: crucify me by bring me the horizon